In many of my previous blog posts, I have made it clear to you that you have to create a clear vision of success and what it means to you. I have been doing this, pretty much my entire life – but if I’m going to be honest, there have been a lot of times where I have sort of stepped back and let someone else have the glory. I was more comfortable sitting and watching. Actually – I hated it – but I kept doing it because I figured if I wasn’t getting where I needed to go despite my efforts, well, then I just wasn’t meant to get there.
Literally. This goes back into high school athletics. It’s plagued me for a while.
I never stopped to consider “why” I wasn’t reaching success until recently. Why is it that I have always had a lot of potential in many different areas but have always fallen short – and freely PERMITTED
myself to fall short? It made no sense: If you are good at something, and you are doing the actions, you should reap the rewards – right? You would think so!
It wasn’t until starting to read my newest installment of personal development, Deliberate Receiving: Finally the Universe makes Freakin’ Sense by Melodie Fletcher that my long time road block smacked me right in my face. Suddenly, years and years of wondering “why” made complete sense to me. My vision of success was entirely wrong.
By nature, I’m pretty high strung. I will go 500mph day in and day out until my body literally puts me down – which happens. All I do is work sometimes. I enjoy work. Working on myself and on my business and with others is my happy place. I enjoy putting in hard work, but there is a part of me that FIGHTS it. I’m pretty sure that’s the sensible part of me that is constantly screaming “SLOW THE F DOWN! YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE YOURSELF A STROKE!” and until quite recently, I never listened. So, I like to think since this part of my personality can’t win out when it comes to my daily actions and making me chill out – it decided to go all personal vendetta on me and totally screw with my future.
Well played, sir. Well played.
This part of my brain will take any bit of success that I want and immediately associate it with the work that has to be done once I achieve it. It does not associate the success with fanfair. It does not associate the success with freedom or happiness – it has always associated it with MORE work. For someone that is maximized pretty much 100% of the time, the last thing we want is MORE work! Or do we want more work? (Welcome to the ongoing struggle in my brain.) So we stay where we are now. Where we know how to manage what we currently have. Where we know what to expect on good days, as well as on bad days. We stay where it is “safe” and “known”.
What is worse than just associating success with more work, is the KIND of work we associate to success. When I think of certain levels of success, the kind of work I associate with it is always the kind of work that I want nothing to do with. The kind of work that makes me shut down. The type that is the FURTHEST thing from who I am. I am a nature lover! I don’t enjoy technology as much as the rest of the world! I think it’s great, and awesome, and a wonderful way to stay in touch and run a business; however, I will take a long walk in the woods over staring at my phone ANY day. It’s the thoughts like that which are the ones that I know hold me back.
So here I have sat, for years, associating MY well-deserved success with the WRONG images. I have robbed myself of success because I have thought about the outcome in the wrong form – and again, that was probably largely because of my Type A personality.
So my question for you is: Are you not getting what you want because of how you are choosing to see it?
Let’s look at an example: You want to lose weight. Weight loss would be great! You would feel amazing and look great but ooh. What about once you reach it? You can’t go back. You can only keep going. That means this torturous exercise isn’t going to end?! I can’t just go back to eating what I want to eat?! Oh no, I’m going to have to be on a diet for, like…EVER! I can’t do that! I’ll go insane! Less wine nights with friends, less time to watch TV because I’m going to have to workout.But I want to lose weight…I’ll lose weight…I’M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT!
Yet those side thoughts continue and as they continue, regardless if you notice it immediately or not, they begin to sabotage you from reaching your success.They keep everything at an arm’s length away. Literally – you can TASTE IT, but you can’t reach it. And you can’t figure out why. Then you obsess over why you aren’t reaching your goal, which causes you to stress out more, and this whole cycle to repeat itself. Do you understand now? When this happens you can say affirmations all day long – they won’t work. You can make vision boards – they won’t work. Nothing will work if your vision of success isn’t working FOR AND WITH you. If any part of that includes something that is going against who you are, you will always fall just a little bit short of where you want to be. Or maybe you will achieve what you want, but you will never feel really fulfilled, or it will be a fleeting moment of victory. Getting down to the true meaning and vision of what success looks like to YOU, and most importantly sticking to that image and vision regardless of incoming distractions, is what will take you from “Almost” to “Got This!”
So if you are reading this and thinking “YAAAAS, QUEEN!” then my task for you is to really think about what that goal will mean for you. The trick is, you’re not permitted to throw in any negatives. IN FACT, if you really want to crush this – take a negative thought you have and somehow find a way to make it positive to work for you with your goal. In doing this, you will clear the fuzzy space in your head and open yourself to truly receiving the success that is yours to enjoy.
UPDATE 12/8/2016: In the months since I have written this blog I have learned that the vision I held of more time on my phone and the computer just isn’t true. By me continuing on my journey towards success, I have learned that more freedom really IS what it offers. I have learned to better manage my time, learn how to be more present, and do more of what makes me happy. When you are happy, you can create magic 🙂 so I encourage you to re-think your vision of success and then roll with it!